shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
