he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
