my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
