We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
