i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
im six kinds of drunk right now
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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