Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
And my parents said I crawled through the house
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
