So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
