He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
