Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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