the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think your dad took our porno
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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