I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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