the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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