why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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