I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
