Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
