On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
