My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
