the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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