i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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