I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize