We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
