oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
