I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
