in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
