I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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