i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
