He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
