Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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