I want to walk on stilts...naked
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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