Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
