Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
