arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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