How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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