i don't like sucking hair
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
