ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
