Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
operation have a gay friend backfired
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
