Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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