Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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