She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She bit a glass in half.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
