Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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