i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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