he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
