Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I have feelings that need drinking.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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