Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Your penis caused this!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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