Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
