On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
