i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
