Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
