after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
