so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
