i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
