I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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