you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
