her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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