Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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