Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
