everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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