Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
