Do you still have your period?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
