I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
