omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
