my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I skipped work to stalk him.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
