What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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